Staring at the unspoiled shoreline, Ira felt as if time were standing still. The sun’s early rays reflected off the mirror-like surface of the bay. White dunes stood guard over feathery marsh grass. The cloudless lavender sky was softening and warming as the rising sun debuted. If it wasn’t for the effortless flight of a sea gull getting a jump start on the new day, this tranquil scene could have been a perfectly painted watercolor. Ira loved the sea, which was why he defied cold reason to get out of a warm bed before dawn.
Jutting into the water like a small toothpick, the wood pier offered this landlubber unparalleled access to the sea floor below. Memories of fishing with his father splashed across Ira’s mind. He vividly recalled learning the art of casting, the thrill of feeling that initial jerk on his line, and the proud look from his father as he counseled patience and calm during the excitement of landing his first fish. These were lessons he still valued today.
Fishing was the ultimate escape, and he loved every second of it. Modern life, with its constant demands, persistent phone calls, and endless emails, seemed worlds away. Standing on the pier in the early morning light surrounded by water, Ira felt connected to those primitive tribesmen who had depended on their hunting and fishing skills for survival. Whether it was communing with nature as he waited for that anonymous tug, or the thrill of reeling in his prize, Ira valued these solitary moments. This late summer day would likely be his last for a while.
Ira glanced at his watch noting it was time to go. He gave himself one final minute to observe the boats sail slowly toward the open water; he wanted to remember this moment, to archive it like a silent movie. The next months would be filled with 20 hour days requiring all his business skill and acumen. There would be an enormous amount of work ahead, plenty of those proverbial balls to be tossed in the air ─ with some of them falling on his head, no doubt. And when those moments of stress and distress descended, he hoped he’d be able to conjure up this calm scene of certainty and balance. Filling his lungs with one last gulp of briny air, Ira turned and threaded his way back to land.
Driving away from Captree, the gears of his Porsche Carrera GT shifted effortlessly as he entered the highway. He was changing gears as well and could feel a surge of adrenalin in anticipation of today’s events. In a little more than 2 hours, he and Josh, two brothers from Bayside, would be taking ownership of one of the last great tracts of undeveloped land on Long Island’s fabled Gold Coast. This was the opportunity of a lifetime, one where the old sea metaphor of ‘having your tide come in’ would apply. There were plenty of times when he thought the deal would never happen, countless false starts and early finishes. Ironically, their ‘overnight’ success had taken years. Ira shook his head at all he and Josh had been through. But the simple fact was that their persistence had paid off; they had stuck to their plan, were not detoured by road blocks, and kept their goals in view
If only he could find that last missing puzzle piece – the one containing the identity of his soul mate – then his life would be complete. Leaving Amber’s warm body at 4:30AM after only 3 hours sleep hadn’t been difficult. Sadly, he hoped she was up and out by the time he returned. The inconsistency between his thoughts and actions bothered him. Last night he had been more than happy to share a friendly dinner with his ‘girlfriend.’ They both knew it was a prelude to an evening of sensual love making. After all, this had been their routine. He always had fun with Amber, thought she was smart and engaging. They certainly enjoyed each other in the fullest sense. But . . . well, that’s where the contradiction arose; come morning he would have preferred to wake alone. Why he didn’t want to see her was both a mystery and a familiar pattern. For most of his 38 years Ira had been looking for that elusive needle in the haystack; that one in a million pebble on the beach – the girl of his dreams.
His friends and family chided him relentlessly. According to them, Ira was the luckiest guy in the world. He’d cast his line out into the sea, and quickly reel in a fabulous catch. Ira made it look so easy. They would ooh and aah, unable to believe his good fortune, for certainly he could have his pick of any girl. Initially, he thought that maybe Amber would be the one to end his long years of bachelorhood. He was ready, for God’s sake, more than ready if he was being honest. Unfortunately, Amber was not “The One.” He simply didn’t feel that special spark; call it magic, chemistry, intuition, a psychic bond, or whatever. It wasn’t there with Amber and hadn’t been with Charlotte or Brittany or Michelle, or Julie or Kristin, or Erica, or any of the other nice, smart, good looking, eager girls that he had the pleasure of pleasuring over the years. Some were funny, others exciting, but none had captured his heart.
Ira smiled as he remembered the day they met. He had been coming out of his favorite hang-out when he ran into Lolly.
“Hey Ira, where the hell have you been?” Lolly asked with a grin. Her eyes were twinkling as she slowly checked out his bod, stopping with an obvious stare at his crotch.
“Around,” Ira replied matching her smile as he bent to plant a peck on her cheek and quickly migrated down the side of her face and neck. He took a moment to nuzzle behind her ear, smelling that coconut shampoo she favored while his right hand gave her butt a welcome squeeze.
“Well, you haven’t been around here, that’s for sure and I would know. I don’t think I’ve had a day off in a month.”
Ira always liked Lolly, but he couldn’t keep his eyes off her friend.
“This is Amber,” Lolly said, not one to miss a trick.
Ira remembered staring at the tall blond, captivated by her natural beauty. Amber met his eye dead-on, obviously sensing his attraction and feeling some of her own. One thing led to another, and he found himself talking with Amber who, it turned out, was starting her job at O’Toole’s Tavern that day. Ira knew she would fit in with the regulars; she came equipped with all the right assets. He should have seen it coming, but that was his problem – had been his problem for as long as he could remember. It was practically impossible for him to ‘walk away’ from an offer, and there was no doubt that Amber was placing a ‘let’s have sex’ bid in for his consideration. That had been 8 months ago.
What red-blooded guy wouldn’t want to have fun with Amber? She was the epitome of the All-American girl, a natural blue-eyed, blond beauty. And she had the whole package; a great sense of humor, a perky yet serious disposition, and the smarts to excel in school – she was studying for her masters in Elementary Education. Everything about her seemed so right, but just like the countless other girls that littered his romantic past, Ira “knew” there’d be no future with her.
One by one he had watched his brother and then his friends fall in love, get married and start a family. They all joked about his single lifestyle, outwardly admiring his freedom and access to hot babes. But the truth was, he was lonely. There was a part of him none of those girls had been able to touch.
Pressing down harder on the gas pedal, the Porsche lurched forward. How effortlessly it sped down the highway weaving in and out of the scattered cars, passing them as if they were standing still. The power of his machine gave him a thrill, but it wasn’t enough to keep his focus solely on the road. Another memory surfaced, this one rising up out of the depths of his long-ago past like some ancient sea creature floating up from the ocean floor. Elise haunted him still, even after all these years.
“I’m sorry Ira,” she had said. “My feelings have changed.”
He could still remember her eyes staring right through him during that final confrontation like it was yesterday. They were angry eyes, distrustful eyes, the eyes of one who had the power of rightness behind them as she stared at the one who did wrong.
“Come on,” he pleaded. “Can’t you give me one more chance? I’m sorry Elise; you don’t know how sorry I really am. I wish it never happened – God, I’d do anything to change things. Anything,” he beseeched.
Ira could still taste the bile erupting in his throat. Shortly after their break up, he used to become physically sick each time he mentally replayed this last scene. As time passed, he went through various emotional stages: grief, remorse, anger, shame and finally acceptance, but he could never simply let her go. Sadly, his feelings for Amber paled when compared to those he had had with Elise, and that was the problem. No matter that it had been 20 years since he felt Elise’s arms, or that they had been kids in high school. He knew it was utterly ridiculous to carry around a torch for a girl he last saw two decades ago. He knew he had idealized their relationship, that he looked back at it through rose-colored memories. He knew that being jilted happened to countless teenagers and that he should have gotten over her years, no decades, ago. He knew all the reasons why it was time to let it go, to let her go, to stop dragging her memory up from the past. Sure, he knew it all too well. Yet . . . knowing and feeling, in this case, were two different things. He had hoped Amber would be the one to help him forget there ever was an Elise, and she did for brief moments. But never for long. As much as he “knew” there was no future in the past, that logic couldn’t penetrate the hard shell surrounding his tender heart.
Shifting gears again, Ira exited the highway. It was time to put his love conundrum aside. Only 5 minutes from home, the black Porsche cornered all the curves and turns as if driving itself. A quick shower and shave and he’d be speeding off to meet Josh – ‘a rendezvous with destiny’ as they say. Once they consummated the deal, Ira would be committed to his new mistress – Holly Heights, and he was determined to give her 110%. As one of the owners, there’d be too much work to allow his wandering eye to roam. Regardless, Ira was looking forward to taking a break from his loveless love-life.